


Constellationem

by StarMadeSahdows



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:13:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28540854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarMadeSahdows/pseuds/StarMadeSahdows
Summary: Kei Tsukishima likes being alone. He’s been alone for most of his life. With a very wealthy father who can buy Kei anything he likes, what else could he possibly need? Someone to confide in? A friend? Impossible.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 24
Kudos: 28





	1. Christmas Collisions

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first fic in a while and I'm so excited to see how this turns out. I literally just finished rewatching seasons 1 & 2 of Haikyuu!! and I just had to write a story about our favorite Tsukki & Yams. They're literally so precious. Anywho, I'm sorry for rambling and btw this story is AU sooo yeah there's not gonna be a lot of 'volleyball' talk, mainly because I just am not very well-versed in it as a sport. But yeah,,, here's "Constellationem" (and yes, it's spelled correctly, it comes from Late Latin) and I really hope you enjoy!
> 
> ~ Violet

The sky is bright purple. It’s a magnificent night: snow falling lazily over the rooftops of Tokyo, dusting the skyline in a soft white blanket; voices chatter incessantly over the hum of traffic, weaving in and out of the air like the wind whistling through tree branches; the faint utterances of the radio from the corner store can even be heard, jocund voices that claver on about this and that. It also happens to be Christmas.

And Kei is alone. It’s not unusual for him to be alone. In fact, it’s perfectly normal for him to steal away in solitude, headphones flanking his ears, tuning out of reality. It’s perfectly normal for him to have absolutely nobody to talk to: nobody to gabble to about the slightly overcooked chicken at dinner, nobody to whisper obscene phrases to during movies that are a little too frightening, nobody to share a feeling of camaraderie. 

And Kei is perfectly content with that.

Why should Christmas be any different? Kei has spent the past seventeen years alone. He should be content. He shouldn’t long for those fleeting moments of discourse, even if they are terse arguments with fists rapping tabletops and glass shattering on marble floors. He shouldn’t be starved for the touches that briefly brush his arm, shake his hand firmly, clap him on the back by suited men that bustle in and out of his father’s office and pass him in the living room.

No. He shouldn’t yearn for these interactions. His mind wanders to his father and his brother. Both males have a presence that overwhelms Kei. The bear down on him, infiltrating his mind. They make Kei feel small, helpless.

That’s why he is content being alone. Being alone and content is better than being surrounded and lonely.

The knock at the door startles him out of thought, the sound passing through his headphones like an empty gunshot.

“Dinner in five minutes,” his brother croons from the other side of the wall. Just the sound of his voice makes Kei tense up.

Akiteru is home from college for the holiday, but Kei knows it’s only a matter of hours before his brother is up and out the door with whatever new girlfriend of the week. He can only count the minutes until he is alone again. 

Rolling his eyes, peels his headphones from his ears, the tips already numb from being squished against the side of his head. It’s just another dinner with his pretentious brother. What could go wrong?

The soles of his slippers shuffle mutely across the hall into the kitchen. They never eat in the dining room unless their father is there. Which he isn’t. Business trip in Venice. Or Barcelona? He can’t remember and it’s not like it really matters.

“So Kei, got any plans tonight?” the older of the brothers asks, prying open a bottle of beer before taking a long swig, then wiping his mouth with his sleeve.

Kei wishes he wouldn’t do that. Now the sleeve of his sweatshirt would be stained with the repulsive stench of beer. He figures the stench will stay on his brother’s lips as well. Whatever girlfriend he was about to be with tonight would end up getting a mouthful of it and Kei finds that disgusting.

He stares hard at his older brother, studying the small scar beside his left eyebrow. Akiteru had never told him where that came from. 

“Plans?” The stench rolls off his brother’s tongue and into Kei’s face. He can practically taste it. 

Trying not to let a wave of nausea overcome his face, Kei shakes his head. “Just staying in. Probably gonna watch a movie or read a book.”

“You are so,” the older boy leans in closer, tapping Kei on the nose. “boooring. You know that, Kei? Can’t you let loose for once in your life? Sneak out? Meet someone? Be a teenager for once in your fucking life?”

The microwave dings, dissipating some of the tension in the air, cutting Kei off before he can respond. Akiteru pulls a tin of some vegetable and rice dish from the small box, plops it onto the counter, then distributes it evenly between two plates. He’s never been known to cook anything with an actual oven or stove. Kei thinks he would probably be a halfway decent chef if he wasn’t so damn lazy. 

Kei fills a glass with water and downs it in one gulp. It’s Christmas night after all and he has absolutely nothing better to do than quarrel here with his brother. How lame. 

They eat in silence, only the occasional sound of beer being swallowed accompanied with the scritch of chopsticks against the porcelain plates. Like usual, Akiteru finishes his meal completely, while Kei is unable to eat the mass of food on his plate. Leaning across the counter, Akiteru glances at Kei, as if to ask _“May I finish your dinner since you inevitably won’t?”_ Leaning across the counter is only another of the things that irritates Kei, but he shrugs, sliding the plate into his brother’s eager hands.

“So a teenager in your definition is someone that’s reckless, impulsive, and rule breaking?” Kei is unsure why he is responding to Akiteru’s question now and the rebuttal comes out more defensive than he intends, but Akiteru gladly takes the bait.

“Yes. And it’s the definition of teenager in a lot of other people’s dictionaries too.”

“Well, it’s not the definition in mine,” Kei’s mouth hardens and he crosses his arms. “I’m fine with being alone. I don’t need to feed off some girl’s attention to feel better about myself.”

“Suit yourself,” Akiteru cocks his head to the side, seemingly unfazed by Kei’s snide comment on his dating life. “When you die alone, let me know how it worked out for you.” 

And with that, he’s out the door. Presumably with his new girlfriend, Kei thinks to himself. At least he is alone now. 

He is content. He really is. 

The snow has stopped falling and the sky is now completely dark, save the street lamps that emit a hazy glow, creating shadows that dance across the concrete walls of buildings below. The world is silent now. It seems that traffic has lulled and everything is bathed in a hush. 

Though Kei’s head is not so silent now. He wishes he could erase the words of his brother. Or at least let them out of his body somehow. Perhaps if he let his thoughts tumble from his lips, then the worries that were swamping his head would clear. 

“Akiteru is stupid,” he begins, glancing longlingly out the window. “Akiteru is probably off with some girl and doesn’t even remember what he said to me. Akiteru’s breath reeks of beer and that’s so gross I want to vomit.”

Without thinking, Kei is replacing his house slippers with sneakers and putting on a coat. “Akiteru makes my blood boil. Why is it that he’s so invested in my social life? It’s not like we would ever share a friend group. He has plenty of douchebag people to turn to, to back him up. I have nobody. But that’s fine. Because I like being alone. Being alone and content is better than being with people and lonely. I’m not lonely. I like being alone. It gives me time to think. Even though my thoughts don’t even make sense anymore. Argh this isn’t working!”

Snapping his headphones over his ears, Kei finally relaxes to the harsh blaring of snare drums and hi-hat cymbals. If there’s one thing that can take his mind off his brother, it’s music.

Music is Kei’s saving grace. He never goes anywhere without his headphones. Even as a young boy, the two things he made sure to carry around with him were his headphones and his stegosaurus figurine. Now, the dinosaur has found a resting place on a shelf in his room, but the headphones are still a must have.

Outside, the cool air nips at his skin, but Kei welcomes the biting sensation. He relishes strolling aimlessly around at night, the one ‘pointless’ thing he secretly enjoys. See, he only really does things if they have a purpose. Like listening to music helps to ease his mind. Meticulously cleaning his room keeps things in order. Eating keeps him alive. Sleeping gives him rest. Researching dinosaurs and other random facts feeds his boredom. Meandering the streets at night don’t really serve a greater function in his day-to-day life, other than getting him some fresh air, but Kei still loves it. 

The streets are empty, as most people are inside, celebrating with family. It’s peaceful being outside alone. I guess night walks reminded him that he’s truly alone. Especially on a holiday. But, that’s okay because he is content this way. There’s nobody else around… 

Kei feels the collision before he stumbles backward, the weight of another body on top of him. He feels the body scramble off of him but it’s too late. He is on the ground now, headphones having been knocked off his ears by the impact and back growing soaked with snow. It’s cold and Kei can feel the condensation sinking into his socks and shoes, too. He will have to wash these immediately upon his arrival home. 

“I’m so sorry!” The voice of the stranger that so rudely ran into him is apologizing profusely. “I wasn’t looking where I was going, but it’s so dark outside. I honestly didn’t see you there!”

“Maybe next time pay attention to the fucking sidewalk before you trample people down,” Kei knows he is being unfair, but his mind is too blurry right now. Akiteru’s voice echoes in his mind. “Sneak out. Meet someone…” Well, he supposes both of those things have come true now, albeit not in the way his brother had urged.

“I really am so sorry!” the voice repeats, quivering. 

Kei looks up at the stranger. It’s a boy. About his age. In the dim light, he can make out the angular features of the boy’s face. Wide eyes and a long slender nose that leads to a slightly parted pair of pink lips. A smattering of light freckles paint his cheeks, which Kei finds to be strangely endearing. 

Realizing he is checking the boy out, Kei closes his eyes and turns his head. A surge of shame courses through his body. 

“It’s okay,” he offers. “I wasn’t really paying attention to my surroundings either.”

Freckled boy blinks and extends his hand, helping Kei stand up. He’s slightly shorter than Kei, but stands with poise. “Tadashi Yamaguchi.”

“Kei Tsukishima,” the taller boy replies. “You know what’s funny?” He finds the words slip out of his mouth before he can try to stop them.

“What?”

“Before you bulldozed into me, I was thinking about how I was alone,” Kei looks up at the sky. 

“Oh,” the shorter boy breathes. “So it’s funny that you weren’t alone because I ran into you?”

Kei realizes this isn’t as funny as he made it out to be. “I mean yeah. It’s not really that funny, I guess it’s just a coincidence, if you get what I mean. I mean I don’t know.” He rubs a hand on the nape of his neck, hoping the awkwardness of the situation will melt away.

Yamaguchi apparently doesn’t find the situation awkward, as he just giggles. It sounds like curious music to Kei’s ears. He peeks at Yamaguchi again, noticing the carefree expression on the boy’s face.

“Well, uh,” Yamaguchi begins.

“Oh yeah,” Kei closes his eyes once more, cringing inwardly. “You probably have to be somewhere. Merry Christmas, by the way, if you celebrate it that is.”

“You too, Tsukki,” the other boy smiles before clapping a hand over his mouth. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to like give you a nickname or anything. It just kinda came out. Sorry!”

Kei just shakes his head, the faintest of smiles plays at his lips. “Good night, Yamaguchi.”

For some reason, Kei wants to ask Yamaguchi where he lives, what he does, why he was out at night when nobody else was. Instead, he turns around, waves a single hand in the air and starts back toward his house. He’ll probably never see Yamaguchi again.

Probably.

  
  



	2. A Sea of Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yippee new update! Sorry this chapter is kinda filler, but includes some interesting characterization...

Back at home, Kei peels the cold, slick socks from his feet and tosses them into the washing machine. He doesn’t care that he’s wasting water because right now there’s only one thing - person - on his mind. Tadashi Yamaguchi.

He tries to shake the image of the freckled boy from his mind. He doesn’t know what it is, but it’s as if there’s an invisible force that’s telling him to find Yamaguchi. It’s absurd. Kei doesn’t believe in destiny or fate or any of that. He doesn’t need to. There’s no use wishing upon shooting stars. The universe works purely in coincidence. 

It’s not as if the cosmos has a checklist that details every event in history, ensuring things happen at the exact right time. It’s not as if the galaxies decided that today of all days Kei would meet Tadashi Yamaguchi. Tadashi Yamaguchi, the boy he could not stop thinking about. Tadashi Yamaguchi, the boy he would probably never see again.

But that invisible force has wrapped its lines around Kei’s arms and legs. He is chained to some superior power, whether it be a God of some sort, he does not know. _Tadashi Yamaguchi_ , the force breathes. Does it want something from Kei? 

He’s read enough books to know that soul mates are just fictional. _Soulmates_. Something about that word sits perfectly upon Kei’s tongue and he suddenly has the urge to whisper it aloud.

“Soulmates,” he closes his eyes, the word a traitorous prayer upon his lips. “Yamaguchi.”

Rushing to his laptop, he pulls up the first article he can find. He doesn’t know what compels him, but perhaps it’s the invisible force gently caressing his shoulder, assuring him that this was right. 

_Connected from a past life_ , he reads. _Souls meet again. Even if you’ve never met before, it feels like you’ve already crossed paths. You may understand them without having spoken a word._

Scanning further down the browser, Kei flexes his fingers atop the keyboard. The force further envelops his presence. He can feel it crowding his space now. _Tadashi Yamaguchi_. The name is like a familiar song that hums through the fibers of his being. 

Crumpling his fingers into fists now, Kei groans, _Why am I even bothering to look up this spiritual bullshit? It’s all fake anyway_.

Still, visions of freckles and soft lips and bright eyes remain. Like a dream, they bleed into one another and Kei can’t tell where the start of one disconnects from the next. It’s not as if he’s never had recurring dreams before. He actually has wistful memories, photographs burned into his brain that always resurface on restless nights where silence becomes too loud. 

On those nights, he finds himself lost in a sea of dreams, dreams that beckon him to faraway realms. 

Sometimes Kei is a tree, branches outstretched to the sky, yet paralyzed in motion. He cannot move. And though his limbs reach and reach for the ceilingless heavens, they never seem to make it far enough. 

Other times, Kei is the ocean, body always in motion. He’ll start off still enough, feeling himself rock slowly beneath a cloudless sky, before a great gale overtakes him. In an instant, he has no control over his form and he rolls over and over, crashing upon himself. 

And even less frequently, Kei is in a cave. It is dark around him. And the walls are soaked. He longs for light. Longs for golden beams that challenge misty shadows. Kei will feel his cheeks and realize they are as damp as the cave walls. 

These fantasies never last long and often leave him with a tinge of inexplicable sorrow. Like a feeling he cannot quite grasp. It’s as if he stands at the edge of a precipice, wondering if he should fall in. See it isn’t really falling if he does it intentionally. Yet, his eyes close and he falls anyway.

When he opens his eyes, he’s greeted with the distant recollection of a woman with the same blonde hair as him. Her eyes glisten with that same sorrowful emotion. Still, he basks in her attention to him. 

“ _Kei_ ,” she’ll murmur. “ _Kei, Kei, Kei_ …” 

Then he wakes up.

Kei would honestly call them nightmares. A far off feeling of longing that borders into nostalgia. Yearning for a time lost long ago. He doesn’t know why he has such nightmares, but it’s not important now. Because when he falls asleep this night, he is engulfed in a tidal wave of stars that twinkle merrily, reminding him of a familiar freckled face. 

  
  


°⋆✧⁎

  
  


Tadashi has never remembered his dreams. His nights are measured by the steady slip into unconsciousness that dissolves into the languid moments where heavy eyelids are agonized by fresh morning light. 

But this morning is different. Somehow, the sun shines a little brighter than before and Tadashi remembers everything.

  
  
  
  


_Tadashi is lying next to somebody in his backyard. Their bodies rest upon the soft green, two entities that form a small bundle of energy in this universe. Together, they make light._

_It’s as if they’re glowing. Tadashi can’t feel where his own body begins or ends. Maybe he’s fused to the body to his side. Maybe they’re holding hands. Maybe their legs are intertwined. Maybe they’re pressed together so tightly that every surface of their skin is sealed together like the kiss of a star’s existence in the galaxies._

_All Tadashi knows is that this feels so right. Laying next to this stranger._

_Tadashi examines the body beside him. It is another boy like him. His hair is as gilded as the spools of light that angels turn from their celestial spindles. His eyes are closed, but somehow Tadashi knows that their color is the same brilliant amber of the honey that he so likes to stir into his tea each morning. Tadashi thinks he would like to drink in the sight of the stranger’s honey eyes._

_It’s as if the stranger acts at Tadashi’s command. Soft eyelashes bat open, revealing the brightest eyes Tadashi’s ever seen. Momentarily, Tadashi is blinded._

_The stranger’s nose is slightly upturned and his lips are slightly downturned. Tadashi finds this amusing. He continues to pore over the way the slope of the stranger’s jaw curves effortlessly into sculpted shoulders, as if they were pulled straight from a statue._

_Tadashi watches as the stranger’s lips part, ever so slightly, as if to utter the quietest introduction. But, the stranger doesn’t have to introduce himself. Because Tadashi already knows his name._

“ _Kei_ ,” _a woman’s voice Tadashi can’t recognize murmurs into his ear._ “ _Kei, Kei,_ _Kei_ …”

  
  
  
  


Tadashi awakes with a jolt. _Kei_. That was the name of the boy from last night. Kei Tsukishima, the boy Tadashi just had a very _interesting_ dream about. _Tsukki_. Of course Tadashi had to make up one of his stupid nicknames for a random person he bumps into on the street. Because that’s all Kei Tsukishima is, a random person he will probably never see again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this new chapter & thank you for all of the positive comments on the last chapter. I'm so glad you guys think so highly of my writing. It really means so much to me. Anywho, I feel like my style kinda changed between these two chapters? I was trying to get more poetic and I'm kinda a sap for poems in general, sooo if you don't like the 'artsy verbiage,' please let me know! Again, thanks for reading & staying with this fic - I'm trying to update once a week. ~ Vi


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